This may seem like a shameless self-promotion...

...but I am going to argue that by giving birth to the blog, http://alphabetartofalliteration.tumblr.com (btw, not sure if it's my comp spazzing, but blogger's template no longer includes the other buttons. I don't even know how to add hyperlinks on here anymore! D:), I feel like it upped my cool points a little bit. It makes me happy and a happier dc is definitely cooler than the norm. Check it out if you're a fan of silly doodles, alliteration, and the alphabet-- Truly a winning combination!

Tips of Love

This week, DC was at la maison de muah for our annual or pentannual sleepover. KCDC sweated our toxins out in intense bikram, ate it all back in a premenstrual sweetcraving craze, inhaled in pho, and DC became a redhead. So one night we change into sleeping outfits but I guess I never got the memo that like slutty Halloween, girls must look good despite the context/event. A sleepover is apparently not made for sleeping in comfort but for looking cute to your roommates.

So I come downstairs with my lovely Peter Paul and Mary sweater from 1998 bought at a LIVE PPM concert when Mary, RIP, was still belting out her folky ballads. Meeting me downstairs is DC in jock-like mockery. Oh did that girl roll over cackling in her cleverly cut shoulder bare tee. What was strange about this situation was that it was complete dejavu... It happened six years ago junior year. I walk into art class with my Nutcracker sweater of 1996 where I watched the LIVE Nutcracker on Ice. On this amazing sweater was a male nutcracker ballerina doing an amazing prancing jump thing. Greeting me at the door is DC pasted on the table from raging hysterics. 6 years and nothing has changed. So tip to all of you one follower of this blog. Time will not change closemindedness, so embrace your bad sweaters. Because they are your cheesy memories that envelope your dreams. Peace.

How to: Kill mice

HOW TO KILL MICE

by: dc

Inspired by a brief mouse encounter in New York at three in the morning.

Rely on any of the following:

1.) a mouse-killing robot with laser beam eyes and claws to pick the poor sucker up and place into the trash.

OR...!!!

2.) a robotic vacuum cleaner to perpetually keep mice on their toes, causing them to eventually die of fatigue.

OR...!!!

3.) a cat.

The Best Birthday Card Ever

Given my recent, yet serious obsession with river monsters, my other half made me this awesomely disturbing river monster birthday card with an equally fantastic message written on the back:

To the endearing, boisterous, life-of-the-party queen bee: On one special day, women every inch of this worldly world give way to uncontrollable shrieks as their stomachs and unnamable parts excessively cramp because they smell the acidic fragrant aura of the of the African princess*. All the blood loss of menstruation syncs to you babe.

Vulgar but overall amazing! Just the way I like it :D

*apparently, females sync their menstrual cycles to the alpha female -- the highest honor ever!

Los Angeles: Brewery Artwalk

If you know me, one of my goals in life is to live in an abandoned-warehouse-turned-loft with pretty brick walls, big windows and exposed ceilings. That being said, I had a fantastic time going through the artist lofts in the Brewery Artwalk over the weekend. Once a Pabst Blue Ribbon Brewery, the place has been turned into lofts geared specifically towards artists. The entire complex then holds a bi-annual artwalk, where they find it in their hearts to allow commoners like us to see a glimpse of their artworks. The residents live and breathe art and it is just an amazing experience to see how each artist took advantage of their space and made it completely their own. Definitely take the chance to see it next time. It's free, has a beer garden, king taco is less than a mile away and you get to see fun art--how can you refuse? ;)

Los Angeles: Museum of Jurassic Technology

In an attempt to be cooler, we have been making a conscious effort to absorb as much culture Los Angeles has to offer. Fortunately, an LA expert pitied my uncool state and was gracious enough to accompany me to Culver City to visit the Museum of Jurassic Technology (MJT) last weekend. I had no idea as to what the museum entailed, but I figured that anything with "Jurassic" must be worth the experience--clearly, my thought process is unparalleled!

spooky but cool bell wheel

The museum had an eerie ambiance similar to Disneyland's Tower of Terror. Spare yourself from trying to piece things together; its exhibits are completely random, ranging from trailer parks to portraits of Soviet Union's spacedogs. If you appreciate oddities, then this museum is for you. My personal favorite was the section revolving around old wives' tales. Who knew that sprinkling loved ones with a urine-doused toothbrush would bring good luck?

There is also a quaint tea room on the second floor where they serve complimentary tea and biscuits. The room perfectly offsets the rest of the creepy museum. I was able to handle most of the museum's spookiness, but at one point, an older woman's voice randomly came out of nowhere and the anticipation of hearing it again made me terribly anxious. Not gonna lie, that voice sent me over the edge and made me scurry out of the museum.

I am not even going to pretend to know what this display was about.

The experience would have been better if they had the means to maintain their displays. A couple were broken and had missing captions, which just left me even more confused. Their novel length captions could also benefit from being shortened, as it left my brain fried from information overload. Despite this, I had an interesting experience and I would encourage everyone to give it a try at least once. I'm pretty sure I'll be coming back again to finish the rest of the exhibits and to overcome my fear of old lady voices.

An Update on Cool

Earlier this evening, a concerned friend of mine asked me if I'm cool yet. I felt like it was my duty to update everyone about the progress that we've seen since the birth of this blog. What's good is that we've set ourselves SO LOW in the cool chart that we can ONLY move up from here! Isn't that great news? That's one of the perks we get in life ;).

PROGRESS REPORT AS OF 9/12/2011

yo, notice the color change, guys. I felt like a new color complements our recent upgrade in cool.

The good news is that we are indeed much cooler than when we started-- a 7% increase, as a matter of fact. Admittedly, 7% may seem like a small improvement to the reader's judgmental eye, but during the past two months, we braved the mean streets of LA just so people would respect us more. We'll fill you in in future posts, so just trust me on this in the meantime: We got street cred, ain't no haters gonna bring us down. West coast, feel me.

The bad news--well, not really bad...more like room for improvement-- is that 2/3 of our being is still uncool. But I'm not worried.

The pep talk, lest we wallow in sorrow:

The world is predominantly water, yet approximately 6.8 billion humans are still able to survive given the limited resources. Humankind is f*cking making it work, and guess what?? We're humans! It only follows that we'll be able to make this predicament work to our advantage (an infallible truth). We've got this ;).