Given my recent, yet serious obsession with river monsters, my other half made me this awesomely disturbing river monster birthday card with an equally fantastic message written on the back:
To the endearing, boisterous, life-of-the-party queen bee: On one special day, women every inch of this worldly world give way to uncontrollable shrieks as their stomachs and unnamable parts excessively cramp because they smell the acidic fragrant aura of the of the African princess*. All the blood loss of menstruation syncs to you babe.
Vulgar but overall amazing! Just the way I like it :D
*apparently, females sync their menstrual cycles to the alpha female -- the highest honor ever!
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